LUXURY LIVING IN LAUDERDALE

When our daughter and son-in-law lived in Florida a few years back, they formed a lasting relationship with Canadian “ex-pat” Norm and his lovely wife Elizabeth who were living the good life in Lauderdale. Upon learning that Julie’s parents would be passing through by boat, this generous couple insisted on acting as hosts while we waited for the weather window that would take us to the Bahamas.

Boarding our boat at Pier 66, Norm led us along a labyrinth of waterways lined with magnificent homes and multi-million dollar yachts until we eventually reached the safely and security of his private neighbourhood marina where we tied up to a slip. And here, for more than a week we were privileged to experience luxury living in Lauderdale.

The private enclave where Norm and his upscale neighbours reside is hidden from public view beyond massive stone walls. Towering palms and dense tropical foliage shelter each distinctively designed residence and a jungle-like atmosphere prevails. The setting for Norm’s home was absolutely breath-taking. Along with the keys to the house we were also given the keys to a car—a sleek Jaguar XJR parked alongside their Hummer, Toyota and “red-neck” truck. At night we were wined and dined at their favourite “uptown” restaurant and in the morning treated to homemade pastries, quiche, fruit salad and grilled meat.

During the day we browsed through a plethora of specialty shops located along the “Marine Mile” outfitting the boat and ourselves with yet more “gear.” When Norm discovered we had no diving equipment he insisted on giving us tank, regulator and scuba clothing at no charge. But the highlight of it all had to be the Christmas week “Boat Parade.”

After packing the trunk of the jag full to bursting with fried chicken, shrimp, munchies, dips, wines and desserts, we headed off to a luxury condo complex right at the heart of the parade route where Norm had arranged for us to view the festivities from the penthouse digs of one of his many friends. They too had prepared a feast in anticipation of our arrival and the quantity and quality of the food on offer—eaten and wasted was almost obscene. Afterwards, gorged beyond belief, we made our way first to the private penthouse pool area where we viewed the first hour of boats and then to a mid-level Japanese garden to get a close look for the remainder of the parade. The amount of money expended on decorating each mega-yacht was absolutely staggering and the electricity generated to light up this excessive display—simply for our “viewing pleasure”—would’ve powered the needs of a small village for more than a week. On and on they came, hour after hour—each yacht more magnificent than the one preceding it. After three hours of this excess and over one hundred boats later I was beginning to sicken from sensory overload and feeling more than a little guilty for being party to such enormous waste. And I was amazed that no one else seemed to be feeling any unease whatsoever at this tremendous drain on resources.

Later, as the elevator taking us back up to the penthouse suite stopped to take on a group of slightly inebriated young party animals, a comment made by one of them succinctly summed up this nights whole excessive experience. He said:

“Man! That was so……..so………..” and, as he struggled to gather his thoughts, it finally came to him. “Man! That was so…......so……….so…………….AQUATIC!!!”

Like so many others there that night—oblivious to everything except their own pleasure, he had missed the point entirely! Blame it on the media, their educational system or political policies—whatever. But one can only look at these exceedingly generous but totally naïve souls and think: “forgive them, for they know not what they do!”

FYI: According to Norm, in the early years of Bush’s presidency, he came up with a “brilliant” idea to stimulate America’s sagging economy. Businesses were offered a 100% write-off in the first year if they purchased a luxury car, boat or airplane. And so they did—in droves. From a financial point of view they’d be crazy not to.

The result of course, was the creation of more gas-guzzling vehicles and an insatiable demand for yet even more fuel. Go figure! It seems the only way the “Behemoth to the South” is able to keep up its strength and survive is to consume ever-increasing amounts of energy—which is obviously its very life-blood. The frightening reality here is that despite global warming or politically correct assurances by the American government, it’s becoming very obvious to me that change here is virtually impossible. For it would mean the complete destruction of both their economy and culture. And THAT’S not going to happen any time soon.,